TIMELY Review: Beat Hazard (PC)

Cold Beam Games' Beat Hazard is a fresh twist on an the old classic, Asteroids.  The twist?  Enemy sets, weapon power, and level strategies are influenced by the background music you select (from your own music library no less).  Can this indie interloper compete with the big dogs?


Have you ever been vacantly staring at your iTunes visualizer and wondered to yourself, "Man, I wish I could be a PART of that"?  Well then Beat Hazard may be right up your alley.  This game (released on April 15th, so for once I'm getting a review out in a somewhat relevant time frame) plays pretty much like Asteroids, as I mentioned above, with the exception that it plays like Asteroids after 2 strong acid tabs.  Trying to break down how the game works is somewhat difficult without just showing people in person, but I'm going to try to do my best here.


Your ship maneuvers in a 2D plane, trying to avoid/take out enemy projectiles, big ol' asteroids, and the occasional boss.  Your weapons fire in a manner akin to the Raiden Project games (i.e. holding down the mouse fires a continuous stream rather than having to press a button for every shot a la 1943).  Where the game differentiates itself from any other flash based rip-off, however, is the way that the music directly affects the game.  The rate of fire is determined by the treble and mid-range parts of the song, while the overall strength of the projectiles fluctuates based on how strong the bass is, as well as parts of songs like choruses that are just all out sonic assaults.  So, for example, if you find yourself playing a booty-rockin' dance track, you will generally fire a less continuous stream, but the pulses you send out with the bass kick will take out everything on the downbeat.  The overall sonic intensity of the song determines the number of enemies and overall difficulty of a given stage (song).  Volume pickups increase the overall intensity of your shots, while power pickups increase shot impact and radius.  The goal of the game is one that I think all gamers can relate to: get lots of points.  The more points you get, the better bonuses you get, and the game gets slightly easier.  Eventually you earn "Insanity Mode", which gives you full power ups from the start, but levels that are "NES-hard".  I'd go in to more exposition and whatnot, but honestly, that's about all the gameplay encompasses.  I have a youtube link if you would like to see it in action but be forewarned: the game makes you click through a seizure warning before the main menu for good reason.  If we have any epileptics reading this, I'm sorry, but don't watch the video, don't buy the game, it will probably kill you. (PS: 50 seconds or so in is where the jackass in the video stops playing like an asshole).





As you can see, the gameplay is pretty straightforward, even if it can be one of the most brutal visual assaults of all time.  But the tagline for the game is "gameplay powered by YOUR music", so how exactly does it live up to this claim?


One thing that bears mentioning right off the bat: this game, being distributed in part by Microsoft, has some SERIOUS compatibility issues.  Anything you have downloaded from the iTunes store or ripped from a legitimately purchased CD via iTunes (in the default AAC format) will not work with this game.  It almost makes me really mad at the developers for providing no kind of out to this.  But then I remember that Steve Jobs is simply the smiley face plastered onto the body of The Antichrist and my rage subsides.  Still though, it invalidates any music I have legitimately purchased since 2004, the year I got my iPod.  The exception is anything I have absolutely in no way at all pirated since I went to college.  Granted, I have about 120 gigabytes of music at this point, so I'm not exactly hurting for selection, but I know others are not the obsessive hoarders that I am, so it is most assuredly a point worth mentioning.

Why won't we just default to MP3's like the rest of the world?

Because we are that which you know as the great Satan.

Anyway, I got over my little "I don't have access to half my music issue", I started examining the plentiful selection that I DID have and started doing some genre experimentation.  The results were, in a word, fascinating.

At first glance, the game seems to play like a pretty standard space-arcade-shooter, and I'll admit that certain songs just turn into intensely difficult aural assaults (a lot of heavy metal tends to have this effect).  However, if you pick the right tracks, the game is an absolute blast.  The trick is that each genre carries with it a different play style.  Allow me to elaborate:

*Dance/Electronica/Industrial - tends to lead to levels where you alternate between weak treble streams of small projectiles to a chorus or hook that makes your weapons the destruction of everything in front of you. Have you ever heard the song "Last Night A DJ Saved My Life"? Well, that's how you'll feel when the beat drops just in time to take out that wave of enemies that just flew into your face, and it is SO AWESOME.

*Heavy Metal - means you are not screwing around.  The constant sonic assault leads to intense enemy waves to counteract your overpowering weaponry, but great for someone looking for a challenge.

*Ska - tends to lead to you being a total powerhouse because of the horns, guitars, drums, and multiple vocal tracks, but instrumental breaks leave you dodging for your life.  These kinds of tracks are good for people looking to play as strategists.

*Punk - actually shows its teeth the most, as you will notice your firing patterns directly coinciding with the rhythm guitar and praying for a guitar solo to save your fire rate in tough spots due to the lack of bass adding any "oomph" to your shots.

Off the top of my head, in fact, here are some tracks that I found to yield some very good levels (some of which may be very... surprising) should you decide to give this game a try

-Tik Tok - (Ke$ha, or almost any of her upbeat tracks)

-Almost anything by Lady Gaga

-Julien K - Kick the Bass

-Streetlight Manifesto - Somewhere in the Between

-Cut Copy - Lights and Music

-Metallica - Enter Sandman

-Muse - Super Massive Black Hole

-Bad Religion - What Can You Do?
-Darkest Hour - The Tides (this is one to choose if you are in no way fucking around)

These are the only genres I've had a whole lot of time to toy with, but I will say this: If you are someone who likes to listen to their own music and play some good games, then you will love the moments where the chorus or breakdown completely save your ass as enemy ships come hurtling toward you.  The synchronicity you can experience at points with your music and visuals can be mind blowing and probably about as close to being a synesthete as you can get (the last attempt was the much heralded Rez, based on the synesthetic visions of Vassily Kandinsky).  Nothing is more satisfying than thinking "I just have to lead these bastards around the screen until the beat/solo/kickass-part drops", then obliterating everything on-screen to the chorus of your jam of the moment.  I'm someone who is easily swayed by games that give me awesome "moments", so this is a novelty that has yet to get old.  And in synchronization with my Deus Ex review, this game is currently on steam for only $9.99.  I can't guarantee a great time for all, as if you don't like 2D space shooters, this probably won't change your mind, but if you're like me and wish that music was integral to almost every facet of life you could have, then by god you will have a great time with this game.  Provided it doesn't GIVE you epilepsy.  Seriously.  I unlocked "insanity" mode and I think my brain's sleep/wake cycles have become permanently reversed.