It's Not Me, It's You: Why Butler is Done With the Gawker Network

Look, Gawker, you guys have some great sites in your network pandering to all interests and personalities.  But you and me, we need to have a serious talk, because this... what we have... it just isn't working anymore.  But don't worry, I have my reasons, which lie after the jump...

If you spend time on the internet, it is guaranteed that you frequent at least one site in Gawker's network on a regular basis, be it Gawker themselves, Kotaku, io9, Gizmodo, Jezebel, whatever.  Many of you may also have noticed recently that all of the sites affiliated with Gawker media look like absolute, unnavigable ass.  Now, they do seem to have at least made some attempt in the last few days to rectify what the site's redesign initially looked like, but the main problems are still there, mocking us with their hideous design, awkward implementation, and total lack of practical functionality.  First of all:

If I want a magazine, I will buy one.  You are a blog.

Look, your little layout to make your site look more like a magazine is charming and just THE cutest little effort, but I'm going to clue you in to something.  No matter how stylistically similar your site may be to a magazine.  It is not.  If I read it on a computer sitting at my chair, I simply want basic website functionality.  You guys are a blog network, and you know what? There is no shame in looking like a blog.  But these giant pictures that you're shoving down my throat on the main page, contextless snippets, rather than introductory sentences, and the simply garish clashing of the main screen and side bar (more on that below) make this site achieve its goal of looking magazine-esque, but the impression I get is more "National Enquirer", than "New Yorker".

What the hell is with the sidebar and the "main" scrolling section?

Honestly, this is simply purely redundant (did the picture perhaps betray my sentiment prematurely?).  I can flip over to "blog view" and scroll through the articles on the main screen in chronological order, where I may actually get a hint as to what they are about (though the pictures are now so fucking huge that they get in about half a sentence before the page break), or I can scroll through their sidebar, which offers literally the exact same content, only you have the option of sorting by post popularity (and when I want my news to be up to date, chronological order is what makes far more sense).  I just don't understand why they even offer the option of the sidebar at all when their painful "blog view" offers the exact same experience.  And don't even get me started on the "magazine" layout.  Would you rather have a continually loading series of articles on your page as you scroll, or four articles?  This doesn't generally affect the functionality of the site, but redundancies of this nature simply appear sloppy, and I don't like spending time on sites that appear to have been designed by an ADHD patient with absolutely no sense of scale.  You know what they could use to replace the superfluous sidebar?  A fucking search bar

The sites just look awful.

The day I hit up Kotaku when the redesign officially set in, I was bombarded with screencaps, giant titles, context-less quotes in big gray boxes, and finally, an epileptic seizure from the sensory overload.  All of the Gawker sites look like someone vomited a pile of pictures and captions onto a blank slate, smeared it around, and called it a day.  How you present your site is the primary way you advertise yourself to the world, and Gawker media seems to want to advertise themselves these days as colorblind children who just learned rudimentary web design and were robbed of their sense of scale by an unfortunate birth defect.

Seriously...what the hell is this?

So what can you do?

Thank god Gawker isn't the only damned thing on the internet, right?  There are a plethora of alternatives wherein you can still get your gaming/celeb/feminist/tech/bestiality/etc news, and you'll find yourself completely forgetting about Gawker in no time.  Need some good and embarrassing celebrity stories? What Would Tyler Durden Do offers some fine alternatives (and while I personally don't really like Perez Hilton, there is that too).  Gamers, I'm sure that Kotaku was never your only source and haven't had any problems finding alternatives.  My top three methadones to Kotaku's heroin would have to be Joystiq, Rock, Paper, Shotgun, and Giant Bomb.  Are you more the io9 type?  You will probably find some solace in the Scientific American Blog (which admittedly is a little ugly, but makes up for it with a goddamn search bar).  Gizmodo can be readily and easily replaced with Popular Science's Blog.  Marc and Angel Hack Life is a very visually appealing and easily digestible site that provides a fine alternative to LifeHacker.  Feminist readers can find their fixes on College Candy or The Frisky (though the latter is part girl news, part celeb gossip).  For suitable replacements for Deadspin, why not check out the sardonic Kissing Suzy Kolber, or you can wait for the editorial effort from Bill Simmons, which promises to feature Chuck Klosterman, Lane Brown and Katie Baker.  Though it has yet to launch, the site is purported to be about 70% sports/30% pop culture, but with that writers' lineup, you know it'll be worth reading.  I would offer alternatives for Jalopnik, but do not for the life of me know a single person who reads Jalopnik.

Got any thoughts on the new Gawker layout you want to vent?  Alternative recommendations for sites from which one can gather their desired (nay NECESSARY) news factoids? The comments section awaits, dear readers!