You Want to Talk About Bobby Cox? Let's Talk About Bobby Cox

One of the things that I was looking forward to most this coming baseball season was the fact that Bobby Cox had finally managed to shuffle his way out of the league after managing the Atlanta braves for what seemed like an eternity.

Last year, during his “farewell season,” every uber-sentimental sportswriter, broadcaster, and pundit spent the season rhapsodizing about Cox's impact on the game, his managerial genius, his place in history, and all that other bullshit. Unsuprisingly, the endless fellating added a level of insufferability to the season.

I had assumed that this season would be free of all Cox worship (hehe!), since you know, he’s retired now, and there is better shit to talk about.

Well you know who doesn’t think there is better shit to talk about? Jayson fucking Stark, who decided to skeet this shit all over the internet on Monday. There is nothing especially new or remarkable written in this article. It’s a standard “changing of the guard” puff piece about Fredi Gonzalez following in Cox’s footsteps, which Stark uses as a convenient excuse to slobber all over Cox (ha!) one last time. but I was struck by one moment in which Stark decided to write about Cox and his wife:

“It was the first time in 50 years in baseball, Cox said, that he'd ever sat in the stands and watched a game with his wife. Which, when you come to think of it, was as good a bit of news for the local umpiring crew as it was for the lovely Pam Cox. Then again, there have been a lot of firsts this spring for Bobby and Pam Cox. Breakfast together. Nearly every morning. That's been new. And trips to the mall. Lots of trips to the mall. Never had time to do the mall thing before, Bobby Cox reported.”

Daaaaawwwwwwwwww, isn’t that just precious? Sweet old Bobby is just a regular schmoe like the rest of us now, taking his wife to the mall and watching ball games with her on sunny afternoons.

HEY! You know what else is adorable? The time that Bobby Cox grabbed Pam by the hair, called her a bitch, and punched her in the face. Oh, you don’t remember that? Well let me refresh your memory.

From the May, 1995 issue of Sports Illustrated:

"According to the police report, the Coxes had been entertaining friends when Bobby spilled a drink on the carpet of their northwest Atlanta house and Pamela made a comment about it. The report said that after the guests left, Bobby, 53, "hit her in the face with his fist," pulled her hair and called her "a bitch." When they reached the house, the police reported, they heard arguing inside, where they found Bobby drunk and Pamela with the left side of her face swollen."

I’ve always been intrigued by how this little nugget of information gets conveniently forgotten anytime people write about Bobby Cox, who lest we forget, has been ejected from more baseball games for going ape shit on umpires than any other manager in history.

If it wasn’t for people like Jayson Stark, you might be inclined to think that Bobby Cox is a fucking asshole who has rage issues. Lucky for us, Jayson Stark is here to remind us that Bobby doesn’t have any anger management issues, he’s just “old school,” and maybe a little “salty.” His rage is meant to be endearing.

Endearing enough, in fact, that Stark thought it would be a good idea to mention Cox’s propensity for losing control on the baseball field in the same breath that he attempts to peddle “aw shucks” schmaltz about Cox’s relationship with the woman that he once grabbed by the hair, called a bitch, and punched in the face. You may have missed it if you weren’t paying attention, so go ahead and re-read that first block quote.

This column is more than just an example of Jayson Stark being lazy and a little bit irresponsible, however. It is a perfect representation of the hypocrisy that persists in the way that the media chooses to cover certain people.

Baseball in particular is littered with fallen heroes who are saddled with the media’s indelible mark of scorn. For instance, can you imagine someone writing a puff piece like this about Barry Bonds or Pete Rose without there being any mention of their scandalous pasts?

We will never be allowed to forget the ways in which Rose and Bonds marred the face of baseball, and yet we are all but encouraged to forget the ways in which Bobby Cox marred his wife’s face.

Slap a mustache and some diabetes on Cox, and you've got

this fella on the right here.

Cox manages to get a pass from the media simply because he fits ever so snugly into the Great American Baseball Narrative. He is the ideal rendering of the old, wise, gruff, hard-nosed coach that gets cast in every baseball movie ever. People like Stark fucking eat that shit up, and they will do whatever they can to keep people like Cox placed squarely in the archetype that has been molded for him.

Witness Stark getting lost in Shoeless Joe’s corn field as he attempts to characterize Cox’s relationship with new Braves manager Fredi Gonzalez:

“So the new manager makes it a point to constantly seek out the former manager, because that's The Way It Ought to Be.”

That’s right, he just went breathy capital letters on your bitch ass.

Stark is intent on reminding us that even in retirement Cox remains a paragon of tradition and basebally-ness, and is here to make sure that The Game is still being played and managed the right way.

The truth about Bobby Cox is that he is a man who happened to coach and win a lot of baseball games, who lost control of his temper during a lot of those baseball games, and who on at least one occasion grabbed his wife by the hair, called her a bitch, and punched her in the face. In our eyes he shouldn’t be anything more or less than that, and that’s The Way It Ought to Be.