Holiday Special: "Are you there, Santa? It's me, Aaron."

Dear Santa,

We here at WordsFinest have been trying to figure out what the heck we want for Christmas. Based on your occupational choices, you must care about this urgent matter even more than we do.

Look. I've always been faithful to the cause. I laid out the cookies so you wouldn't go hungry. I put out the lactose-free 2% so you wouldn't go thirsty. I even refrained from burning petroleum barrels in my free time to keep your backyard from melting. Bottom line, I've always come through for you. So are you gonna come through for me, big guy?

Here's what I want- nay, demand for Christmas:

For the armory: Nerf N-Strike Barricade

Remember when Nerf put out that awesome 6-shot Maverick revolver? This is like that, but for winners. It's an electric motorized semi-automatic revolver. It fires ten straight shots, no pumping necessary. It's even got a tactical rail for laser sights or scopes. Is that annoying nine year old across the street giving you lip?  Bust out a couple of these bad boys while wearing a stylish dart bandolier and watch him wet his pants.

For the gadget collection: 11.6" MacBook Air
I struggled with this decision. I have such crippling gadget afflictions that picking just one was difficult. Sure, the iPad is great but a new webcam-equipped iPad is just right around the corner, and so are a horde of awesome Android tablets in January. Speaking of Android, I have to give props to the Droid Incredible and G2 for being lust-worthy Android phones this year. The new Kindle and Nook Color are both highly desirable for different reasons. So why did I choose the MacBook?

Now, to be clear, I've never been a Mac person. I have an iMac that I use for media editing, but I've always been turned off by the self-satisfied smugness of iCulture and Apple cultists. But I gotta give Apple credit on this one: the new 11.6" MacBook Air is a mouth-watering piece of technology. Every time I play with one, I feel like I'm touching something carved from the future itself. The gorgeous display, great battery life, solid-state storage, and exceptionally solid build quality won me over. It's most certainly Satan's laptop of choice, but that doesn't make it undesirable. Just evil.

For the garage or Batcave: Nissan Leaf
Unlike the Chevy Volt (which turned out to be just another glorified hybrid), the Leaf actually lives up to its promise of being an electric car. This all-electric zero-emissions vehicle goes a hundred miles on a single battery charge and makes an awesome 'flying' turbine sound as it drives by. Inside, it's running a cutting-edge in-dash interface built on top of Windows 7's automotive embedded OS with an active-updated information hub connected to data center through cellular networks. Bottom line, it's bitchin'. The only thing it's missing is some talking A.I. computer with a British accent.